"That which does not kill me makes me cuter." - tele Nietzsche
Monday, November 29, 2004
I like Sylvester for his charismatic appeal that has helped significantly in increasing membership for the Church of the Conniving Media. He possesses the uncanny ability so far unsurpassed in Singapore to bring out the full potential of the media to bitch gossip scandalize weave tall tales and dish out audaciously skewed perspectives of reality that can only defy and denigrate the good name of objectivity in news reporting and information dissemination.
I like Sly because he has got talent - natural talent at exploiting the stupidity superficiality immaturity and uninformed mentality of the berserk shallow-minded hormonally charged prepubescent or newly pubescent strain of virus called fangirls (AKA The Intelligence Assault Club).
I'm so happy that Sly has helped so many Singaporeans find their identities as Handphone Wielding Intellectually Disabled Fast Fingered Mass Fifty Cents Message Sending Halfwitted Imbecilous Nitwitty Twerpified Dunderhead Morons (HWIDFFMFCMSHINTDM).
As such, I will gladly send a fifty cent message just to support him and sustain this amusing merriment of charade and lies. Oh I forgot I have a life - I need the money for my toys - so I hope my well wishes will be adequate instead.
In any case Sly, all the best! Make us smart people more wary of the media and make the stupid ones pay!
And... in the words of a typical HWIDFFMFCMSHINTDM, "Sly, u da man! U RoXx! I saw u and u were looking at mi. Ur so kEwL & sHuAi~~~ If u remember, im da gUrL in da (oh whatever -__-) dress and u were pointing ur fav hand sign & smiling at mi n i smiled back n waved to u! Anyway, all Da BeSt, no matter wat happens, u'll alweyz b mi Singapore Idol! Takexxx carexx!!!! And sTaY cOoLz!!!"
[Important disclaimer: I ain't targetting Sylvester.]
I like Sly because he has got talent - natural talent at exploiting the stupidity superficiality immaturity and uninformed mentality of the berserk shallow-minded hormonally charged prepubescent or newly pubescent strain of virus called fangirls (AKA The Intelligence Assault Club).
I'm so happy that Sly has helped so many Singaporeans find their identities as Handphone Wielding Intellectually Disabled Fast Fingered Mass Fifty Cents Message Sending Halfwitted Imbecilous Nitwitty Twerpified Dunderhead Morons (HWIDFFMFCMSHINTDM).
As such, I will gladly send a fifty cent message just to support him and sustain this amusing merriment of charade and lies. Oh I forgot I have a life - I need the money for my toys - so I hope my well wishes will be adequate instead.
In any case Sly, all the best! Make us smart people more wary of the media and make the stupid ones pay!
And... in the words of a typical HWIDFFMFCMSHINTDM, "Sly, u da man! U RoXx! I saw u and u were looking at mi. Ur so kEwL & sHuAi~~~ If u remember, im da gUrL in da (oh whatever -__-) dress and u were pointing ur fav hand sign & smiling at mi n i smiled back n waved to u! Anyway, all Da BeSt, no matter wat happens, u'll alweyz b mi Singapore Idol! Takexxx carexx!!!! And sTaY cOoLz!!!"
[Important disclaimer: I ain't targetting Sylvester.]
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Worst case job search scenario for fresh graduates...
"I've read your resume. Fresh university graduate. Interesting, but... tell me... why are you applying for a toilet cleaner position?"
"I always felt that my passion lies in toilet cleaning. I take a very serious approach making sure the toilets I handle are free of dirt and sparkling clean. As such I feel that my interest directly corresponds to this job and I think this is going to be a very hands-on opportunity for me to put to use the knowledge I possess in toilet cleaning."
"Yes, but your resume states that you have no previous experience in toilet cleaning apart from your NS days. You may take a very strong interest in cleaning toilets, but every Tom, Dick and Harry have learnt how to clean toilets in their NS days. My maid has been cleaning my toilet for two years. Before that, my wife has been doing that job for a good three years. Does this mean that I can simply hire any Tom, Dick or Harry just because he has toilet cleaning experience in the army or just because he is very interested in the job?"
"Er... ah... uh..."
"Why are you taking so long to answer? Young man, this is a very fast-paced industry and you need to be make decisions at the snap of a finger. How can I take you into my toilet team if you're just going to sit there and hesitate. I'm not paying you to create problems, I'm paying you to solve them. If you were working under me like this, I would have already fired you okay. So tell me why I should take in a fresh graduate like you. Convince me."
"According to the job requirements, I might be fresh and there might be a lot of other candidates with far more experience than me, but that doesn't mean I'm worth any less than them. The reason why you should take me in is precisely because of the fact I'm fresh and therefore I have with me a rich pool of unmoulded and untainted ideas which can add value to toilet cleaning. Moreover, my market value would be a lot lower than most experienced candidates."
"Yes, but toilet-cleaning is a highly stressful job. You have targets to hit and deadlines to meet. Many who have worked before either complained that they couldn't handle the stress or ended up losing their temper because the management wasn't happy that the toilets weren't clean enough. Some have already quit and I still have a pile of resignation letters on my desk to clear later, not to mention those who simply got fired. So tell me what is so special about you that I should spend my precious time here instead of going back to do my own paperwork?"
"What you need is a toilet cleaner with a never-say-die attitude and who is serious and feels a sence of belonging and responsibility to his job. I am strongly confident in my ability to adapt quickly and to understand the intricate processes involved in toilet cleaning. Above all, I'm willing to put in that extra effort to ensure I deliver results and this is what I'm most sincere about."
"Very well, thank you very much for your time. We'll inform you of a second round of interview if you're shortlisted for the job. Good bye."
"I've read your resume. Fresh university graduate. Interesting, but... tell me... why are you applying for a toilet cleaner position?"
"I always felt that my passion lies in toilet cleaning. I take a very serious approach making sure the toilets I handle are free of dirt and sparkling clean. As such I feel that my interest directly corresponds to this job and I think this is going to be a very hands-on opportunity for me to put to use the knowledge I possess in toilet cleaning."
"Yes, but your resume states that you have no previous experience in toilet cleaning apart from your NS days. You may take a very strong interest in cleaning toilets, but every Tom, Dick and Harry have learnt how to clean toilets in their NS days. My maid has been cleaning my toilet for two years. Before that, my wife has been doing that job for a good three years. Does this mean that I can simply hire any Tom, Dick or Harry just because he has toilet cleaning experience in the army or just because he is very interested in the job?"
"Er... ah... uh..."
"Why are you taking so long to answer? Young man, this is a very fast-paced industry and you need to be make decisions at the snap of a finger. How can I take you into my toilet team if you're just going to sit there and hesitate. I'm not paying you to create problems, I'm paying you to solve them. If you were working under me like this, I would have already fired you okay. So tell me why I should take in a fresh graduate like you. Convince me."
"According to the job requirements, I might be fresh and there might be a lot of other candidates with far more experience than me, but that doesn't mean I'm worth any less than them. The reason why you should take me in is precisely because of the fact I'm fresh and therefore I have with me a rich pool of unmoulded and untainted ideas which can add value to toilet cleaning. Moreover, my market value would be a lot lower than most experienced candidates."
"Yes, but toilet-cleaning is a highly stressful job. You have targets to hit and deadlines to meet. Many who have worked before either complained that they couldn't handle the stress or ended up losing their temper because the management wasn't happy that the toilets weren't clean enough. Some have already quit and I still have a pile of resignation letters on my desk to clear later, not to mention those who simply got fired. So tell me what is so special about you that I should spend my precious time here instead of going back to do my own paperwork?"
"What you need is a toilet cleaner with a never-say-die attitude and who is serious and feels a sence of belonging and responsibility to his job. I am strongly confident in my ability to adapt quickly and to understand the intricate processes involved in toilet cleaning. Above all, I'm willing to put in that extra effort to ensure I deliver results and this is what I'm most sincere about."
"Very well, thank you very much for your time. We'll inform you of a second round of interview if you're shortlisted for the job. Good bye."
Stole this quiz from a thief (wear mata uniform one) ...
 | You scored as Pride.
Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com |
Monday, November 01, 2004
My ma was having a fine time clearing the critter away with all me sis making hell of a noise in the kitchen, but not before I took a shot with my lousy camcorder. It was stuck in the chute door by the way.
It was still barely alive (mouth opened a little) when I was taking the shot. If you're eating right now, enjoy your food k? Hehehe...
It was still barely alive (mouth opened a little) when I was taking the shot. If you're eating right now, enjoy your food k? Hehehe...
